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Those damn ass pirates arr at it again.

R: you know you want to go to class for me.
D: no
R: but it's interesting.
D: what is it? don't lie.
R: (after a pause) How Pirates Helped the Homosexual Agenda....

Paraphrasing

D: "Rita i'm going to make something do you want some?"
R: "what is it?"
D: "I'm not telling but i need to know if i need to make enough for both of us."
R: "What is it?"
D: "oooh - i not make enough for you"

Magic Bullet

Rita: Daniel you sound like a vibrator.
Daniel: hums
Rita: No, daniel you really do - it makes me happy in my no-no spot

No Substitutions!

Daniel: I don't have a finger for Jim Belushi

So... I like it?

Rita: So what do you think of my Orgasm?
Daniel: I told you it smells like my grandmother.

Duddly Do-Rite Does Dallas

Rita [looking at gay porn icons]: Why - on the train tracks?!

Overheard Pi - On the Town

Rita: You're hard!
Daniel [avoiding the glance of nearby lady]: ...

Rita: I want a divorce.
Kroger Cashier: Are you married?
Daniel: No

Rita: You can only call me mommy when we're in bed!

Bats Grow on Trees in Rita-Land

Rita: the 'y just looks vulger hanging out there.

--

Rita: It's all a conspiracy to make us think that bats are animals so that we will stop using them as fruit in our mango peach salsa.

does not compute!

Daniel: There-in lies your error.
Rita: I'm gonna realize your error!

Hardcore like that

Ashley: How did ya'll meet?
Daniel, with mouth full: internet...
Rita, immediately: Dating site - he was into donkey's, I was into snakes.

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Daniel: Ow!
Rita: Daniel - there's a reason your door shuts - what are you doing?
Daniel: I sat on my thumb...